APOCLIMAX tetracosm mexica

by Stefan Jecusco

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Undertaken September 2009


released February 22, 2011

Recorded by Toledo Vader at Studio Gemini on Jason Waugamans Tascam 388 8-track, by any means necessary. Then "mastered" onto thee olde emac. Gibbons and strangers were employed/destroyed during the making of this record.



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Stefan Jecusco Portland, Oregon

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Track Name: Ball of string
voto rotto"




"lei occhi
vedere negli occhi"


tutto desio"


"oltre verita
oltre realta"


Track Name: Move through me
was i like the rabbit
'cause I was quick and small
oh, I was like the rabbit
'cause I could get away

was I like Europa
laid out soft and white
well I saw beyond the universe
in that dark bull's eyes

was she left there crying
for illusions die like men
no, she'll always have another
it's just the sky that rains

did I jump into the fire
'cause it was Tani's cure
well the earth cradles the ocean
now I am of the air

did I lose the message
for I see nothing in eternity
no, I am my destination
free and loose again
Track Name: Fetus mind
just light enough to see breath itself is too loud
the electric spell over us like a cloud
lips open up like doors to where time is blind
deep in natures home, the fetus mind
the fading sky's light, the current in my veins
feeling life from inside, ineffably strange
more than I can know, more than I can touch
everything I see is far too much

oh Venus, you told me to let go
I didn't believe you but I'm not scared anymore
all I ever wanted, to be set free
I am your lover, you live in me

a sense of the without, however it may seem
before we slip away, another dream
the wind in the trees, rocks out in the sea
light through the clouds, I in her, she in me

oh Venus, you told me to let go
I couldn't trust you but I'm not scared anymore
all I ever wanted, to be set free
I am your lover, you live in me

Venus, you told me to let go
it took my life, but I'm not scared anymore
all I ever wanted, now set me free
you are my lover, you live in me
Track Name: Love without end
long ago
the world was a desert
one easter morning
standing in the sun
I reached out my hand
I've been a child
we had to go home
like we've never been born
oh child
one easter morning
give me your hand
the world before
in your unformed beauty
I've been tried
I see the strength of man
I touched the world
just out of sight
balancing in between
the rocks of a canyon
open heart of fire
I'll love you forever
where all roads begin
love without end
fingers in the fire
do you know what you want
like we've never been born
you know the world's no limit
I'll love you forever
if you get it or not
love without end
I've been born
love beyond fear
like the very first time
past all conditions
I'll love you forever
we go there
love without end
oh light inside the sun

the wind blows right through you

you are the world before
I'll love you forever
could never forget you
love without end
Track Name: Song of paradise
when I was blind I did not want to see
and I stayed in the cage after I was set free
when I looked in the mirror I didn't see me
I was lost in hell, paradise all around.....

it's not in a home for I live exiled
it's not in a hope, I'm not so beguiled
it's not through grief, there's no time in the wild
I'm only an animal lost in paradise

in the twilight mind that doesn't recognize time
in the sacred peaks that are never a crime
in the nearness of death, in the whites of it's eyes
a suspension of disbelief in paradise

here on the shoreline we've been before
here in the sunsets, may we go again
there is a place, where we were born
here in the land they call paradise
that I call paradise
Track Name: Potenziale umano
people talk about justice
and who has the right
and who's taking on who
by day or by night
well the shape of the oceans floor
barely glimpsed through the waves
has sent many sailors
to their watery graves

who's voice is the loudest
and who's got something to lose
and would they sell you out
if they had to choose
a palace of isolation
promise of safety built
somewhere to keep up a privilege
then store the guilt

I'm lookin' out for number one
I think of me before I think of you
that's the way that it is
simple and true
but my best interest is fairness
my best interests are shared
I make better decisions
'cause I'm not scared

a manager told me
they want it all for free
and a nurse looked outside
and said "they're not like me"
a man in the paper
outraged by welfare crimes
people dying every day
over nickels and dimes

I dreamt of an eagle
red blood on it's beak
and it looked deep into my eyes
and began to speak
"the earth does not grow food
and the sun does not burn
you parents never had sex
and people will never learn"

I'm lookin' out for number one
I think of me before I think of you
that's the way that it is
simple and true
but my best interest is fairness
my best interests are shared
nothing ever happened
until somebody dared
my best interest is union
that fear cannot bend
true selfishness knows
compassion is it's end
Track Name: Taken inside
up high on the mountain
looking down so low
I see so many places
I may never go
I see so much life
an endless stream
and I trace my own footsteps
like a dream

I was born in this body
and I moved across the land
I've been loved and hated
and many things I don't understand
sometimes it seems like never
forever on and on
but when I get finished singing
this body will be gone

promises I whisper
underneath my breath
if I only have one life
if I only have what's left
I won't withhold anything
won't still my tongue with fear
won't keep a safe distance
let every body hear

apocalypse is shining
in every hearts secret fire
all beauty and cruelty
born of the same desire
consciousness is a lover
laid out across the bed
when I close my eyes
the stars turn red
Track Name: Endless night
nine rings of fire
nine bands of light
impossibly distant
beyond time or mind

standing like a hero
until everything is gone
only the harper
echos history's song

goddess here it is
take this heart
it feels so black and heavy
tear my soul apart

she is all my loves
she says "such a fool
you've felt all my worst
there's nothing left to do"

wade in moonlit water
naked to the skies
we'll disappear forever
into another night
Track Name: Ishnat
may the lost
find a home of the road

may the divided
find each other across

may fear be the test
of freedom

let suffering
not all be in vain

let human potential
ever be known

art will lie in the ground
when the city is gone

instruments in a tomb
will prove that we sang songs

the future's in wonder
of our doomed gilded age

they can never know