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APOCLIMAX tetracosm mexica

by Stefan Jecusco

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1.
"rotto voto rotto" yes "assentire ascendere" yes "lei occhi vedere negli occhi" yes "diventare tutto desio" yes "oltre verita oltre realta" yes "cantare canzone"
2.
was i like the rabbit 'cause I was quick and small oh, I was like the rabbit 'cause I could get away was I like Europa laid out soft and white well I saw beyond the universe in that dark bull's eyes was she left there crying for illusions die like men no, she'll always have another it's just the sky that rains did I jump into the fire 'cause it was Tani's cure well the earth cradles the ocean now I am of the air did I lose the message for I see nothing in eternity no, I am my destination free and loose again
3.
Fetus mind 05:08
just light enough to see breath itself is too loud the electric spell over us like a cloud lips open up like doors to where time is blind deep in natures home, the fetus mind the fading sky's light, the current in my veins feeling life from inside, ineffably strange more than I can know, more than I can touch everything I see is far too much oh Venus, you told me to let go I didn't believe you but I'm not scared anymore all I ever wanted, to be set free I am your lover, you live in me a sense of the without, however it may seem before we slip away, another dream the wind in the trees, rocks out in the sea light through the clouds, I in her, she in me oh Venus, you told me to let go I couldn't trust you but I'm not scared anymore all I ever wanted, to be set free I am your lover, you live in me Venus, you told me to let go it took my life, but I'm not scared anymore all I ever wanted, now set me free you are my lover, you live in me
4.
long ago the world was a desert one easter morning standing in the sun I reached out my hand I've been a child we had to go home like we've never been born oh child one easter morning give me your hand the world before in your unformed beauty I've been tried I see the strength of man I touched the world changeling just out of sight balancing in between the rocks of a canyon open heart of fire I'll love you forever where all roads begin love without end seeker fingers in the fire do you know what you want like we've never been born you know the world's no limit I'll love you forever if you get it or not love without end teacher I've been born love beyond fear like the very first time past all conditions I'll love you forever we go there love without end oh light inside the sun the wind blows right through you you are the world before I'll love you forever could never forget you love without end
5.
when I was blind I did not want to see and I stayed in the cage after I was set free when I looked in the mirror I didn't see me I was lost in hell, paradise all around..... it's not in a home for I live exiled it's not in a hope, I'm not so beguiled it's not through grief, there's no time in the wild I'm only an animal lost in paradise in the twilight mind that doesn't recognize time in the sacred peaks that are never a crime in the nearness of death, in the whites of it's eyes a suspension of disbelief in paradise here on the shoreline we've been before here in the sunsets, may we go again there is a place, where we were born here in the land they call paradise that I call paradise
6.
people talk about justice and who has the right and who's taking on who by day or by night well the shape of the oceans floor barely glimpsed through the waves has sent many sailors to their watery graves who's voice is the loudest and who's got something to lose and would they sell you out if they had to choose a palace of isolation promise of safety built somewhere to keep up a privilege then store the guilt I'm lookin' out for number one I think of me before I think of you that's the way that it is simple and true but my best interest is fairness my best interests are shared I make better decisions 'cause I'm not scared a manager told me they want it all for free and a nurse looked outside and said "they're not like me" a man in the paper outraged by welfare crimes people dying every day over nickels and dimes I dreamt of an eagle red blood on it's beak and it looked deep into my eyes and began to speak "the earth does not grow food and the sun does not burn you parents never had sex and people will never learn" I'm lookin' out for number one I think of me before I think of you that's the way that it is simple and true but my best interest is fairness my best interests are shared nothing ever happened until somebody dared my best interest is union that fear cannot bend true selfishness knows compassion is it's end
7.
the Mirror 03:21
8.
Taken inside 03:27
up high on the mountain looking down so low I see so many places I may never go I see so much life an endless stream and I trace my own footsteps like a dream I was born in this body and I moved across the land I've been loved and hated and many things I don't understand sometimes it seems like never forever on and on but when I get finished singing this body will be gone promises I whisper underneath my breath if I only have one life if I only have what's left I won't withhold anything won't still my tongue with fear won't keep a safe distance let every body hear apocalypse is shining in every hearts secret fire all beauty and cruelty born of the same desire consciousness is a lover laid out across the bed when I close my eyes the stars turn red
9.
nine rings of fire nine bands of light impossibly distant beyond time or mind standing like a hero until everything is gone only the harper echos history's song goddess here it is take this heart it feels so black and heavy tear my soul apart she is all my loves she says "such a fool you've felt all my worst there's nothing left to do" wade in moonlit water naked to the skies we'll disappear forever into another night
10.
Ishnat 03:16
may the lost find a home of the road may the divided find each other across may fear be the test of freedom let suffering not all be in vain let human potential ever be known art will lie in the ground when the city is gone instruments in a tomb will prove that we sang songs the future's in wonder of our doomed gilded age they can never know

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Undertaken September 2009

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released February 22, 2011

Recorded by Toledo Vader at Studio Gemini on Jason Waugamans Tascam 388 8-track, by any means necessary. Then "mastered" onto thee olde emac. Gibbons and strangers were employed/destroyed during the making of this record.

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Stefan Jecusco Portland, Oregon

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