there is a land where you can’t find gun
by friday night the beatings and brawlings have begun
oh they call It Canadia and if you are there
just standing on the corner, you’d best beware
of falling lumberjocks spilling beer and their blood
into the rancid gutter swelling up to flood
and so I ask the boatman, where does this all go
it ends up in that river that flows to Ohio

walking down the tracks just kicking with my shoe
squinting my eyes as men at dusk will sometimes do
I spied someone coming and soon it was quite clear
it certainly was Jesse who suddenly was near
my heart it did stop beating for I saw a ghost
way out on the trestle along the old sea coast
he said as he passed me in a voice all hushed and low
“just waiting for that train, takes me back to Ohio”

no good deed goes unpunished, or so I’ve read
but that’s not exactly what the police man said
I promised to pay him to politely decline
his offer to take me in if I didn’t have the fine
well I may be missing out on such a grand old town
but I’ll leave Manhattan before the sun goes down
a drunk old hobo told me forget what you owe
eventually all roads lead back to Ohio

pat regained consciousness and he quickly found
he had wet himself and his hands and feet were bound
in his mind was the foggy image of a bar
then he realized he was in Dan Johnsons car
looking out the window the first thing he saw
was a green sign that said next exit Wichita
he fainted dead away before he could know
that his destination was a barn in Ohio

there stands old Johnny gnawing on his hand
he’s been known to do that since he lost his band
and so behold Ozzy born of the false cow
as near enough to Gibby as safety will alow
they’re waiting for Black Francis to come down the skies
to renounce john the baptist and make mars their prize
he’s due any minute, right after the show
they’re standing in a field somewhere in Ohio

so all you good people I’ll have you understand
if you ever set you feet down on the promised land
in that holy moment with no words to say
if in life you ever live to see that day
just knowing that you have anyone to blame
you might find within you at least an ounce of shame
well that’s the kind of baggage that you shouldn’t stow
throw it in the river that flows thorough Ohio